


Wallflower in Distress

by Min Ano-nim (primaroha_the_elf)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Friendship, Introvert Woozi, Jeonghan destroys everything, Jun can't choose, M/M, My First Work, Over-excited Hoshi, Past Relationship(s), Please Don't Hate Me, i'll tag later, will get better (hopefully)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-08 01:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14094033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primaroha_the_elf/pseuds/Min%20Ano-nim
Summary: Some people say that university is the time you turn a new page in life and everything that was before is forgotten. Unfortunately for Wonwoo, every page that turns comes with the same old nightmares: Jeonghan, Mingyu, judgement and hate, old wounds that never had time to heal. This time, Hoshi won't let him get away with it, not when his beloved Music Club is on the verge of closing.One mistake on Woozi's part is enough to get him stuck in Hoshi's mind in the worst way possible.Who knows, maybe it's all for the better...





	1. Rookie Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first work I ever publish. It's not the best in the world, but hopefully you will like it at least as much as I like the idea of it.  
> Also, English is not my first language, so if you notice any mistakes let me know (or just ignore them, really, there shouldn't be a lot of them).

#### Chapter 1. Rookie Mistakes

_Woozi_  
The middle of the semester and the class is almost empty, so much so that we would probably all fit around one single table at the foodcourt after the course is over. That if we were friends, which we are not and are never going to be. This is our second year already, and my mission to stay completely under the radar has succeeded so far. I don’t have that much left to endure really and this whole mess will be done. After that, I will be free to lock myself in a room and socialize as little as I want. Hopefully, the number of group projects will continue to stay as equal to zero as it has been so far, because honestly, looking around now, this university lacks trustable faces worse than all my school years put together.

This is seriously the most boring class so far, and there have been quite a few strong contenders. The number of students attending these kinds of “not mandatory” classes has always been low, but never like this. There are a few girls who don’t usually miss any class, just to be sure, those two strangely competitive guys who are fighting for the perfect score and the three musketeers right at the back. It’s funny in a way, the fact that they are here. I see them reflected in my laptop screen and I get it even less. One is half-sleeping, another, the Chinese one, most probably doesn’t understand a word of what this teacher is mumbling there. And right between them, that smart guy with glasses, who only has top grades despite hanging out with those… I don’t get how he does it. He must have some really dark stuff on them to get them to attend this lecture with him.

The teachers is trailing off again, which wouldn’t be the first time. A loud sigh behind be woke me up from my daydreaming for a second. The reflected Chinese guy quite openly takes out his phone and starts playing on it, despite his friend’s poking him under the desk. The other guy is full-on sleeping already. Even the smart guy, although trying to seem attentive, is clearly zoning out. The girls start chatting silently, just loud enough for a continuous background noise to form. The two nerds up front are also engaging in their hobbies, doodling on the notebook or reading under the table. This background noise gives me an idea, just enough for my bored mind to start thinking.

And there it is! Goodbye artist’s block! I should turn on my computer before I lose this thought.

  


_Hoshi_  
Why on Earth did I agree to this? Where was my mind? Why do I always give in to this nerd’s suggestions? I have just wasted a great half an hour of my life sitting in this empty class, listening to this teacher who mumbles the lecture like he doesn’t understand it either. Actually, he probably doesn’t. So why are we here anyway?

Jun looks like he is fighting the same thoughts, but he stays quiet, not that he is very vocal anyway. I don’t get these guys, how can they keep their mouths shut all day long, listening to crap like this, reading course books and doing all their projects way before deadline. Well, Jun doesn’t quite fit the last two criteria, that’s Wonwoo and well, best case scenario those two idiots up front. Although truthfully, they wouldn’t even mind coming to this course if it wasn’t for Wonwoo getting the perfect scores at everything. I’d wonder if he’s even human, but I know him well enough already to know he is not. No human has this few feelings and emotions, he is practically a biological robot. Scary, but maybe fixable. That’s my mission in this world!

The teacher must have said a joke or something because the two nerd in the first row fake laughing and Wonwoo is almost smiling. I like this expression on him, it makes me feel better about myself. I have been friends with him long enough to see it, there aren’t many people who can brag about that.

God, this is so boring I could literally die. I feel my eyes closing, but Wonwoo’s elbow in my ribs keeps them from shutting all together. He won’t let me live until the break comes, which is twenty minutes away, twenty precious minutes of wasted air and life, sitting here and dying slowly. If Jun agrees, I swear we’re out of here before the teacher finishes announcing the break. Wonwoo might be mad at us, but he should appreciate us being here for so long, I have been thinking of getting up and leaving for the past thirty minutes. He’s smart enough to know that about me.

I can’t help it anymore and a loud sigh comes out. It’s louder than I had intended and the empty room doesn’t help it much, but strangely enough Wonwoo doesn’t react. He doesn’t glare at me dangerously, he doesn’t poke me in the ribs, he doesn’t shush me. Maybe he’s just too busy getting Jun off his phone. I will take it as the permission to sleep the rest of the hour. I might actually not leave in the break after all.

  


_Wonwoo _  
I have to admit two things:__

____

1\. This is too boring even for me. These lectures have always been boring and have always made almost no sense at all, but this one is the worst one by far. The topic is old, we have learnt about it before at least twice, both times better than now. It is also rarely usable in today’s world, so there is basically no practical aspect to it. But they are all insisting in teaching it to us like it is the most widely used concept in our everyday lives. I’m usually trying to make sense of their intentions and look on the bright side, but this time… Bullshit!

2\. After today I will either have the best two friends in the world or no friends at all. I’m poking them (lightly, I hope they noticed) every now and then when the teacher is looking our way, but no more than that. They are probably cursing me under their breath for dragging them to this shit show and wasting their time like this and truthfully, they’d be right. I felt a little bad when it started, a little worse when Hoshi started falling asleep, even worse when Jun, usually weirdly patient with my studious intentions, got out his phone and started one of those games that fill your time when you are dying. The teacher was looking right at him, and he didn’t even bother to hide his phone, so I gave him a light poke under the table. It worked, but then Hoshi’s sigh…

Everyone is looking at us now, the teacher, the girls, the guys who don’t want to be my friends for reasons I don’t understand. Even that hermit I’ve been too shy to talk to for the year and a half we have attended the same lectures, although we used to be quite close in high school. I feel my face blushing, too many eyes in my direction. My heart breaking at the suffering of my best friends only adds to the redness. They don’t seem to mind, and Hoshi burying his head in his crossed arms on the desk tells me they will care even less from now on.

People have stopped staring, but I also stopped paying attention. Everyone is doing something else by now, so it doesn’t matter much anymore. Plus, they would certainly hate me if I made them act interested in this… thing…

I’m zoning out, thinking of all the random stuff that’s piled up in my head. Hoshi wants me to join some music and dance club that doesn’t sound like me at all, but Jun is joining too. I was thinking of ways of getting out of it, but after today I feel like I should give it a chance. I’m not that good of a singer, I don’t dance well either, they won’t take me anyway. Hoshi said they don’t have songs yet, so it might as well fail all together, not much to worry about. I was daydreaming at this point, when suddenly…

  


_Woozi_  
Oh shit! Oh shit! **Oh shit!!!** I was home before this, playing music at full volume alone in my room. Why did I not mute it? Oh shit! Why did I hit play? Oh shit!

  


_Hoshi_  
THAT’S IT!!!


	2. No Once, No Twice, Sold!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoshi is made up of 70% outgoingness and 30% weird, crazy, usually really bad ideas. And Woozi wants none of all that. Neither does Wonwoo, for that matter...

  
_On the group chat_

Hoshi: I FOUND A SONGWRITER!!!!  
S.Coups: What? Where? How much do we have to pay him?  
The8: He’s lost it again…  
Jeonghan: Give up Hoshi, everyone knows how the last few worked out. It’s not part of your attributions anymore, get used to it!  
Hoshi: Come on guys, I’m serious. He’s really good, like REALLY good. Just ask Jun!  
Jun: No comment  
Hoshi: Ok, then Wonwoo!  
Wonwoo: Don’t you dare drag me into this! I told you I’m not joining this club. Besides, it’s the hermit we’re talking about, he’ll say no anyway. Give up!  
Hoshi: Come on, at least you :’(  
Jun: Do you realise how desperate you sound relying on Wonwoo with something like this?  
The8: Exactly! What do you expect him to say?  
S.Coups: I’d try to say something nice, but it’s hard when they’re telling the truth…  
Hoshi: I officially hate ALL OF YOU! Goodbye people, goodbye world.  
Jun: Wow, the poetry…

  
_Hoshi_

Idiots, all of them. That level of distrust, I’m disgusted. Like they never made a mistake in their whole lives, those stuck-ups. Now even my best friends are turning their back at me. But I’ll show them, I’ll get that little hermit into our club and take the world by storm. They’ll see, they’ll see.

But in the meantime, we still have ten minutes, the worst ten minutes in the world. I’m so out of here as soon as the break starts, but not before I get him in the club. That was the best tune I’ve heard in ages, I’m not giving up. I’ll show those snakes that I am not that much of a disappointment. Actually, that gave me an idea, so I lean a bit closer to Wonwoo. He has been daydreaming for a while, but the tune woke him up abruptly and now he was back at it again, making an effort to pay attention for some reason I might never understand. He has straight A’s anyway, why would this total mess of a lecture change that in any way? The exams are not even close anyway, it’s just been a few weeks of university so far.

'Hey, I have an idea!’

‘I usually don’t like your ideas. By usually I mean almost always, so save it. I need to pay attention.’ He’s sassy and bitchy suddenly, which I don’t get either, but what can I say. He’s the Enigma and I’m a Turing machine in testing phase. Wait, why do I even know these words? What has he made of me?

‘Listen up, what if…’

‘No’

‘I made a proposition, like...’

‘No’

‘You join the club…’

‘No’

‘If I get the hermit to join.’

‘No… Wait, what?’ He must have not expected me to be capable of such deep thinking, because he forgets about the lecture and turns towards me, whispering a little louder than he should. He realises, but no one cares anymore, this lecture is a mess anyway.

‘If I get the hermit to join the club, you join as well. There are auditions in the weekend, if I get him to attend the auditions, you attend them too. Does that sound better?’

‘Truthfully, no, but okay fine. If he joins the audition, I join as well.’

No but okay, he says. He trusts me just as much as he trusts a dog to solve his advanced math problems. Well, actually, he’s right. It’s the hermit we’re talking about, it won’t be easy. Nothing in life is easy, but I will stop at nothing to prove them wrong. They should never underestimate the man by the name of Kwon Soonyoung.

  
_Woozi_

I never thought I’d pray for the break not to come at this lecture of hell, but there’s nothing I wish for more when the teacher announces the free ten minutes before the lecture continues. I’ve been frozen in front of my laptop, which I slammed shut panicked when I realised that was where the song was coming from. I’m looking straight at it now, too scared to touch it, but even more scared to look up.

‘What was that?’ I hear a female voice near me. I was still looking nowhere in particular, but now my cheeks are catching fire and my mind went completely blank. ‘It sounded like nothing I’ve heard before!’

‘Right?’ Another girl voice says. ‘Did you compose it yourself? Or is it a remix of something? It sounded great!’

‘Congrats!’ the first girl adds, and I could do nothing else but give a short and soft nod. 

It’s not the answer they were waiting for, but they’ve known me for more than an year and a half, they should be used to it already. They should know when to give up. So why are they not giving up? Rather than that, they get closer and keep asking questions, the kind which can be answered with a tilt of the head. I feel like dying, when a guy comes along and makes space between them, saying: ‘Give him space to breath, you’re scaring him!’ Well, at least that he got right…

After a short protest sounding like ‘You’re even more intimidating!’ and ‘What is it to you?’ the girls give up and go back to their seat or something. I’m almost thankful to this stranger, good thing I look up at him before saying anything. That greyish brown hair he has now might make him look like a nice, usual guy, but I remember the pink before and I know what those girls were talking about.

Weird flashy hair colours, sighing and complaining loudly in class, screaming at the top of his lungs in the campus, sleeping in the middle of the lecture. This guy is my exact opposite, an attention seeker, he loves it when all eyes are on him. His IQ is probably comparable to that of an untrained earthworm and he has no problem in showing off with that one lonely neuron in his head. How on Earth did he become the smart guy’s friend anyway?

He’s staring at me, a wide psychotic smile on his face. I have a whole rude speech for him in my mind, but I can't get myself to open my mouth and say it. He starts talking about some club, I don't really listen or care about any of it. Why doesn't he get it already?

  
_Hoshi_

'So, you wanna join?’ I say again, but he’s still just staring into space, ignoring me. Not the situation I was going for, but maybe he's just considering it. 'It will be fun, and you talent will really be appreciated. That thing you played was genius! What do you say? The audition is on Saturday, are you coming? Hello?’

Nothing, again nothing. He suddenly gets up and tries to leave, but I make sure to follow along and keep asking until he says something. It's funny, he was always already seated by the time I came to class, so I never realised just how tiny he was. He’s literally the size of a peanut, a cute one too, and he’s even cuter now that he picks up to pace to get to the door. His steps are so small that only now that he’s almost running can I afford to walk normally behind him. I was going to ask again, when a bony hand rests firmly on my shoulder and I hear Wonwoo’s deep voice behind me saying: “Enough, he doesn't want to. Leave him alone!”

That suggestion doesn't sound like part of my plan, so I shove his hand off and I get back to the chase. But when I leave the room, there's no sign of the hermit anywhere. I even check the bathroom, but he's not there either. I torture myself with the rest of the lecture, but he doesn't come back.

Right before we leave, Wonwoo goes to where the guy stayed and quietly starts packing the abandoned stuff: the notebook, the pens, the laptop. **THE LAPTOP!!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> I'm thinking of posting two chapters per week, no promises though.


	3. 50 Shades of Morals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no such thing as best friend who have never had an argument in their whole life. But this one time, Hoshi might have pushed just the worst buttons with Wonwoo. And the latter has all the weapons to keep Hoshi away from Woozi. But will they work?

_Wonwoo_

There are two kinds of pains in the neck: the pushy people and the people who act before thinking. And Hoshi is the best of both worlds, in the most disastrous way possible. Poor Woozi, he had to see it first hand. That quick glance he gave me when I stopped Hoshi was just long enough for me to see the desperation in his eyes and his need to get away. I understand his, maybe better than has ever got the chance to meet Hoshi. I felt the same a few years back when we first met, it takes a while to get used to it. Or to make him tone it down to acceptable limits.

I expected Hoshi to just run out the door before the end of the break, but he is on the hunt and more determined than ever. Woozi doesn’t come back, although he left everything there, his stuff, his laptop, even his phone. It’s okay, though, before I pass by his rented apartment on my way home, hopefully after I will have gotten rid of Hoshi for the day. Hoshi gets back to his usual position, all stretched up across the desk, his eyes moving lazily from the door to Woozi’s desk and back. That must be the cutest pout he ever produced in his life and if I hadn’t been myself, I would have taken at least 10 photos of it. That’s too far from the image I have made for myself, but I notice Jun at the corner of my eye, trying to get the best possible angle. That photo will soon spread across the whole university, but that’s what friends are for anyway, isn’t it?

The teacher finally has a little mercy on our sanity and lets up go earlier, leaving the rest of the presentation for another time. I get lost in thoughts for a moment, contemplating the fill level of the room next week. It’s just a second, but a second is enough for Hoshi to sprint to Woozi’s place and get his hands on the abandoned laptop. First mission of the day: get him off the laptop before he guesses the password. For the idiot that he is, Hoshi could probably become the best hacker in the university if he tried hard enough. And God know he’s really trying this time.

  
_Hoshi_

It’s not “hermit”, “loner”, “alone”, “home”, “zerofriends”, none of these. What a surprise, people usually choose their traits or their favourite things as a password. This guy is a-whole-nother level of security freak. His birthday or name would be good possibilities, but how could I know any of those? If only I could switch it with my laptop fast enough… Why didn’t I think of this earlier?

“No,” a deep voice behind me says, just like parents say to a toddler when it’s about to put some weird thing in their mouth. “Hoshi, no.” He’s voice is calm, but strong and threatening. Usually I would have second thoughts but this time my chances of survival are negative if he catches me with the deed and he will most certainly do. Why did I have to pick the smartest and most moral guy as my friend? Why could I not just go for snicky, evil geniuses like Jeonghan?

“Leave his things alone, they’re not yours.” His voice is still as threatening as ever, his tone calm and smooth, like he’s still talking to a mentally-challenged kid, decisive but careful not to start a scene. “It’s not okay to just roam around other people’s stuff, especially if you don’t have their permission. You would probably not care if someone did that to you, but some people are really bothered by it.”

He says all these while packing everything, starting with the laptop he actually checked before. Thank God I didn’t change it, he would have killed me, brought me back to live and killed me again. And then, maybe bring me back and tell Seungcheol on me so he could kill me as well. What a wonderful life that would have been…

“You’re fetching these for him?” I ask, still hopeful but knowing the final answer already.

“You can’t tag along, Hoshi. You should know him by now, he doesn’t like things like this. And neither do I.”

“Oh, come on. What could happen anyway? You either do good and join or you don’t do good and nobody will find out. Come on, you said yes yesterday.” Shit, this is going worse than I had expected it. Fingers crossed he doesn’t remember what he said yesterday.

“I never actually said yes, you know.” He turns to me and shoots me that death stare that only him and Jeonghan can pull off. The kind that lets you know you’ve fucked up. Badly. Really badly. “I said I’ll think about it and I have thought. I’m not going.”

“What? Why? Even Jun is going!”

“You say nothing will happen, like I don’t know better. The whole university will know every second of it, augmented and worsened, so much so that even I will not recognise what they’re talking about. It’s Jeonghan, Seungkwan and Vernon we’re talking about.”

“It’s not! Vernon and Seungkwan are good kids, we both know they won’t say anything to anyone. You know they wouldn’t do that, not to you. You’re nice to them and friends with them. And Jeonghan…”

“Come on, shoot,” He eyes me threatening, looking totally over it and gestures me to bring it on. I’m done with. “Say something good about Jeonghan, I dare you! I’m listening.” His tone is cracking, unable to stay calm and decisive. He’s really angry by now, angrier than I have managed to get him in the last… Well, ever... 

“You see,” I start hesitantly, “he’s not that bad. He’s a control freak, yeah, and gossips like a grandma with her oldest friends, but he’s not a bad guy. I’m sure he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, maybe laugh at you a little, but he wouldn’t go that far. Right?”

“Good, then. If you follow me to Woozi or talk to him again before Saturday, I’ll show Jeonghan that Shinee cover you completely ruined right after we met. He’s not a bad guy, right, he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.”

Fuck, he’s been preparing this for years, this jerk. I should have seen where he’s going when he first mentioned Jeonghan. Why do I always choose friends that out-smart me by a thousand miles, it’s all my fault. And now he’ll even say no to Jun, so even my secret weapon is useless. That damn hermit ruined everything…

“Who are the judges anyway? Just asking.” He says after a while, right after we get out of the building. Suddenly, a spark of hope in the distance. He wouldn’t ask just for the fun of it, he’s not like that. He knows and is curious of a lot of useless things, but not to that extent. Should I tell the truth? That I don’t have a clue? Or should I play this card the best that I can?

“Last time I checked, Seungcheol, Jisoo and Seungkwan. They didn’t seem to think of changing it, so that’s probably the final judge lineup.”

He seems to think of it for a moment, before making an unclassifiable sound and leaving. I think for a second of tagging along, but just the thought of Jeonghan seeing that shakes me out of it and I go the opposite direction, to the last club meeting, hoping they will choose the dream lineup I had just swore to. Maybe Seungkwan will scare him, but the kid is good at shutting up when needed, plus we’re friends and he’s not a traitor. Seungcheol will shut his mouth because he has to pass the exams and he can’t without Wonwoo’s help. And Joshua is an angel they sent down from heaven, to purify what can be purified from our dead souls. Jeonghan is corrupting him slowly but surely. The influence of a gorgeous devil should never be underestimated, but Joshua is still the most trustable of the lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to lose confidence in this work, which is totally like me. I do that every time, but I really hope you like it at least a small fraction of how much I wanted you to :)).  
> I'm currently talking myself into not giving up on it, which would totally not make me feel better about myself. Please give me some feedback if you feel like it, just to get a sense of what you're thinking.  
> Thanks SOOO much for reading so far!!!


	4. What Best Friends Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> However against the idea he tries to seem, Wonwoo cares about Hoshi and about the club, as well. And if getting Woozi there on Saturday will make Hoshi happy, there's no harm in trying.

_Woozi_

I’m a pain in the neck. I’m the worst friend ever and we're not even friends. How could I ever hope to have friends when I’m like that. I’m a monster. Even more so now that I’m hoping he’s wise enough to keep that overgrown 5-year-old away from my laptop, the laptop I expect him to fetch for me without saying a word to him before I ran away. And to top all that, all I can think of is that I hope that fluff-ball doesn't come with him here.

I feel a bit better when I see him out the window, coming from around the corner, with his backpack on one shoulder and mine in his hand. It's heavy, I know, but I don't remember it being as heavy as it seems now that he carries it. I should meet him halfway and pick my stuff and just let him go. But there is something about the way he walks, almost like we might collapse at each step, that tells me he’ll want to come upstairs and waste a little time on my couch. So I let him come, I let him ring the wrong number twice until he gets the right apartment, I let him knock lifelessly and I make way for him to continue his stumble to the couch. He sits down violently, my couch would protest for anyone else, but he’s so light it probably didn’t even feel him there.

He buries his face in his hands and says nothing for a while, a long while, long enough for me to start fidgeting. He seems down, depressed, in need of a shoulder to cry on or someone who could give him advice. That’s never going to be on my competence list, but never seems to notice that. He usually goes right for “What should I do?”, but this time he stays quiet, head buried in his palms, all dressed and with the backpacks still hanging from his arms. He hasn’t been this down since…

Suddenly, he turns his head and looks at me with tired eyes, almost like he just noticed me there. “You should come on Saturday.”

“You’re going?”

“Maybe, I don’t know yet. I should, I guess.” He turns back and just looks nowhere in particular, around the room before he settles to staring into space. That’s a bad kind of Wonwoo: really sick or really stressed. Some say he looks the hottest like this, but for me it’s just worrying. And worrying is the first on the my aforementioned competence list.

“You shouldn’t go just to please Hoshi, you know that, right? I mean, I know you’re friends and stuff, but you shouldn’t do things you don’t want to do just to make him happy.” I go full-on advice mode, mainly because this whole situation gives me a threatening deja-vu feeling I could live without. 

“Jun is going too.” Wonwoo says, clearly zoning out. Well, I could have told you that as well, if he thinks you’re going, thank you. How on Earth is Wonwoo the only one not to notice that whole situation? It’s too much for my limited brain capacity. “And Seungcheol and Seungkwan have told me about it a lot. I guess they really want me to try.”

“Okay, maybe they do, but do you?” I stress the last word hoping he’ll get it, but I can immediately tell from his facial expression that he doesn’t. He stays silent and I’m quite sure he decided to stop listening to me by now.

And then, he drops the bomb. “I’ve been preparing for it for three years now… I really want to get in.”

  
  
_Wonwoo_

I don’t even have to look at him to know the expression on his face. He didn’t expect that, but then again who would have? Hoshi would have probably been just as surprised, if not more. But it’s the truth, I wanted to go in ever since the club was created. And I have my songs prepared, ready to show to whoever would listen. But nobody does listen, not the Woozi, not Hoshi, not my parents, no one. Because I am too smart to enter a music and dance club and to waste my time with artistic things. It would keep me too much from my studies and it would affect my grades too much. It was just not worth it. Not back then…

“So why didn’t you go by now? Why don’t you want to go this time?” Woozi asks with a small voice, tainted by confusion. I feel him coming closer and sitting on the couch next to me, at a fair distance because he’s still Woozi, and leaning closer. He’s worried, not that it would be any different from his usual state, but it’s still heart-warming.

“I don’t know. It might really affect my grades, you know, I don’t really know how much time I can give it.” My first instinct is to start my usual lie, which after two years became painfully convincing. So much so that even I started believing it at some point along the way. I take a quick peek at Woozi and even just that much is enough to know he doesn’t buy it. “Mingyu is there. And Jeonghan, too.” He moves his eyes from me to the floor, but stays silent. “It’s been almost three years, I know. I should… I should have…” I feel tears forming in my eyes. It’s more annoying and frustrating than sad, three years and I’m still not over it, I’m still stuck in those old stupid…

“I understand,” he suddenly says, more sincerely than I ever expected him to.

“You do?” I double-check.

“They did you really badly back then. I can’t even imagine how I would have handled it. I probably wouldn’t have…”

“Come with me.” It’s most likely not going to work, but I have to try. If I fail miserably, like I expect to, at least he will be there, another one to the list of friends who will not pretend to have forgotten my name after Saturday. “I heard Joshua is the judge. He’ll go easy on us, he know us for long enough. Let’s just give it a try together.”

“Joshua and who else?”

Sensing a chance, I honey-dip it a little, because he trusts Seungcheol and to hell with it, how bad can Seungkwan be? “I don’t know, some say it’s only him. Some say there might be Seungcheol, too.”

“Hoshi told you?” Well, who else could have? Do I even know anyone else in this world? “Fine, if it’s only them, I’ll go. At least after that, Seungcheol might finally let me live. And I might get rid of Hoshi for you as well, two birds with one stone.”

Well, I’m not sure I want that to happen, but whatever, maybe he’s right. Hoshi is not the best influence for my grades. And getting rid of him might bring some much-needed peace in my life.

  
  
_Jun_

This kid is a pain in the ass, really. Such a hyperactive puppy, running around with that wide smile on his face, talking in Mandarin just because he can, being my friend just because I understand what he's saying. It's almost funny how we became best friends the movement I mentioned my hometown. And he's so skinny, I’m starting to fear for his life and health. Is that the effect Mingyu has on people?

“Hey! Can you hear me?” He shouts, waving in my face before settling back to his usual ear-to-ear smile. “Are you coming on Saturday, too?”

He must have been talking to me for a while now, he seems to think that's the way our relationship is going. Honestly, the moments I listen are rare.

“Are you coming? I’ll be there too, you can see my finished choreography!” He’s hopping around me like the over-excited puppy that he is.

“Of course I'm going!” I say, forgetting to mention that I have someone to watch, who is a thousand times better than an amateur kid that this guy is. What was his name again? Mingha? Mingho? Something on those lines, rhyming with Mingyu in a way that makes him even more unbearable.

Head on the mission, Junhui! This kid, however annoying, is the sole reason Wonwoo… He will pay for it, and Mingyu even more. Just wait, Mingyu, just wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is getting really out of hand and really far from what I initially wanted it to sound like. I will continue posting it, because why not, although I realise that it's quite boring and uneventful (sorry, I'm way too good at writing shit like that).  
> Time is not really on my side, but I am currently thinking of a way to turn it around, maybe start over and see where it goes, I don't really know. Either way, I still have a few chapters (many, actually) waiting to be released, so I will think about it in the meantime.  
> If there is anyone who actually gets far enough to read this, THANK YOU!!! for your patience and good-will, I know this is crap and it's killing you inside :)


	5. Saturday Bloody Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feared audition Saturday has come.

_Jun_  
We arrive a little early, just enough to seem a bit weird, but then again,what are they expecting of us? The little hermit, the need with perfect grades and the Chinese guy, a power trip to be reckoned with. I have a little choreography prepared, one that I’m not very confident in, especially now, two years after my last practice. But it doesn't matter much, because the judges are Joshua, Seungcheol and Seungkwan, the three guys beside Hoshi and maybe Woozi, who know what I’m here for.

I get distracted and bored while repeating the moves in my head. Wooozi is a little ball in the corner of the room, eyes stuck to the laptop. He makes little changes, but then undos them all and starts again. Wonwoo is walking around, fidgeting, playing with the sleeves of his sweater. I will never understand why he keeps wearing all those old clothes that don't even close to fit him anymore, when the scholarship is enough for him to buy the whole mall in just three months. Why does he hold on to that bastard after such a long time, after everything that happened?

A loud screech tears the silence and my whole world falls apart before me. Minghao came, ready to draw all the energy out of me before this whole thing even starts. He beelines straight to me and my act is falling apart with his every little hop in the air. He almost crashes into me and seems to consider a hug, so O quickly back away at a safe distance before he gets any cuter ideas. This guy should be banned from socializing ever again.

  
_Woozi_

A high-pitched voice calling Jun by the correct pronunciation of his Chinese name draws my attention. There are not many people who say that name correctly, so few that Jun gave up trying and got used to all the wrong versions. A tall skinny guy runs straight to him and, although I’m in a bad spot, I can tell who that is. Minghao is probably the most recognisable person in the world, you can literally count on the fingers.of one hand the people who are skinnier than him. The way Wonwoo found that as a reason for what happened still hurts like a dagger in my stomach.

Is it the memory or the reality, because they look very similar in the degree of painfulness. That's because before Minghao, walking slower and with a lot less excitement in their stride, are Mingyu and Hoshi. Mingyu’s mere presence is a problem, and his trajectory seems to end right next to Wonwoo, which is a bad idea in SO many ways. But before I can react to the bastard, I notice something scarier. Yes, it is possible for something to be scarier than Mingyu opening the deepest wound in you best friend’s heart. And that is the look on Hoshi’s face. Before I even have time to figure it out myself, I hear Mingyu go:

“Hello! I haven't seen you in years! How's it going?”

  
_Jun_

“Fine, I guess,” Wonwoo replies hesitantly and I wonder if it was loud enough for Woozi to hear from where he was standing. It's already going down, rapidly.

“Hoshi told you about the audition today, right? There doesn't seem like a busy day, but then again it's really early in the morning, they're going to pile up later.”

Wonwoo nods softly, like he didn't even hear what Mingyu was rambling about. Might not have, but I’m pretty sure he did. Mingyu is looking around and gesturing widely while he talks about nothing in particular and Wonwoo's eyes are on him, checking every millimetre of his body. Gosh, how I wish I could get rid of this annoying puppy and go get Wonwoo out of that situation. But with this cute mut jumping around me, it's a little too risky.

“Hey, by the way? Did you come to support someone? Just tell me their name, I’m a judge, you know.”

OH SHIT! Hoshi’s dead, death by the hand of Wen Junhui.

  
_Woozi_

“If you tell me their name, I can put a good word for them to Jeonghan as well, and then they’d already have two votes out of three.”

If before all three of us were staring at him, the word judge scratching at our souls like a trapped cat when it panics, now we are all staring at Hoshi. He’s dead, dead before he even has time to realise it, dead before he even gets to know what hit him. He wanted to shoot apologetic looks to Wonwoo, but after Jeonghan was mentioned he doesn't dare anymore. And he’s right not to. Whatever comes out of his mouth right now will go down in history as the last words of the biggest traitor since Judas betrayed Jesus. Where was his mind anyway, lying like that? Lying ABOUT that? To Wonwoo, of all people, right to his face after all… after all that… 

That's why I don't have friends. I can hurt myself bad enough alone, I don't need outside help, thank you very much.

  
_Hoshi_

He’s about to cry, I can see it in his eyes, but what can I do now. All the harm has been done, it's not like I don't understand, or like I don't remember. I know three years is not enough. One thousand might not be either, after all that happened. I promised him something that I hoped was true and I was about as wrong as I could be. It was always Joshua there, because he was nice, warm, pleasant to be around. People felt less nervous with him there, so he was always there. How was I to know he would catch a bad cold right this Saturday? Seungcheol was the leader, he had to be there, so why did he call to say he wasn't coming? Wait, Joshua has a cold, OF COURSE Seungcheol isn't coming, where was my head? That hypochondriac bastard probably won’t leave his room for the next two days because he sat three seats away from a sick Joshua two weeks ago. But then, why is Jeonghan here? That bitch doesn't care about anything besides his own self, does he?

This will go badly, really badly. Jeonghan will be his usual bitch, Vernon will be distracted as usual and Mingyu… Mingyu was harming the situation just by existing. Woozi will be too nervous to do anything, and Jeonghan won't help, because he just doesn't. Jun will mess it all up, that if he manages not to grab Mingyu by the collar, right then and there. And Wonwoo?

Where was my mind? Why did I drag him into this? Why did I make him feel like he had to do it, just because he was my friend? He didn't, we would be friends anyway. He can't sing in front of Mingyu, let alone Jeonghan, who is the sole reason for everything that ever went wrong in the world. He can't do anything, he’ll stay there like a rock statue and… I hope he doesn't cry. He can kill, he has all the right to. All three of them do, him more than anyone. But, please, please, pretty pretty.please, don't cry. I’m a monster, I know, just don't show it…

I look around to their faces. Up till five minutes ago maybe, they were my friends. Actually, they were my best friends, the best of my best friends, and now… Jun looks like he will murder me, which he probably will and he definitely should. Woozi looks like a program that stopped, I would laugh and make the “Woozi.exe stopped working” joke if it hadn't all been my fault. And Wonwoo… he looks for an answer. And I have nothing to say, nothing to do. What am I to say? Sorry? Like that would work...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far! Please leave comments with your feedback and what I can do to improve this story. I feel like it isn't going the way it's supposed to, and Uni is taking all my time right now so I don't really have time to edit it too much. Sorry for that...


	6. The Audition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end. Fasten your seat belts everyone, Jeonghan is ready for the party and more of a bitch than ever before.

**Chapter 6. The Audition**

_ Vernon _

Ok, I came in the club a bit later than the rest of you, but for God’s sake, fill me in, I’m lost. Hoshi is fidgeting like it’s his audition, Mingyu sports the widest smile I’ve seen on his face in my whole 3 years of knowing him, Jeonghan is more of a bitch than he usually is, and that says something. People start gathering, most first year students or high school kids around my age, who are already planning their future at this university, before even taking their finals. Funny kids.

 

The silence and tension is too much for me. As if the nerves from outside weren’t enough, they had to be awkward with each other, too. I get my phone, although I promised not to, and text Seungkwan. He’s more talkative than me, maybe he knows something…

 

Vernon: Hey, whatcha doing?

Seungkwan seen

Vernon: Hello?

Seungkwan seen

Vernon: I can see you’re there, don’t pretend you aren’t reading the messages.

Seungkwan seen

Vernon: Oh, come on! Don’t ignore me, too, what did I do to deserve this treatment?

Seungkwan: You broke my favourite coffee cup! That’s what you did! And if that wasn’t enough, you also FORGOT to tell me about it and ALSO DIDN’T CLEAN THE KITCHEN AFTERWARDS!!!!

Vernon: Ah, yeah, true. Sorry.

Seungkwan: SORRY??? Anyway, who else ignores you? Tell them to stop, that’s my job now.

Vernon: Everybody ignores me. Like what the fuck is going on? Why is Mingyu grinning like a psycho after the kill?

Seungkwan: Take a photo, I’ve got to see that!

Vernon: Why is Hoshi walking around like he’s trying to dig a hole in the floor?

Seungkwan: He probably drank coffee in the morning. You know how Hoshi and coffee mix.

Vernon: Why is Jeonghan such a bitch?

Seungkwan: That’s more on the philosophical side, a question for the universe itself. It’s like ‘Why is the sky blue?’ and ‘Why is water wet?’. Facts aren’t worth questioning.

Vernon: Can you take me seriously for a second here? And by the way, who’s Wonwoo? And why would he want to kill Hoshi?

Seungkwan: Wonwoo wants to kill Hoshi?

Vernon: That’s all Hoshi said since I came. He’s freaking out about how Wonwoo’s gonna kill him. Who’s that anyway?

Seungkwan: Wait, Wonwoo’s there? Hang on, sweetie, I’ll be there in 5.

Vernon: What? No! Seungkwan!

Vernon: Seungkwan!

Vernon: Seungkwan?

Vernon: At least answer… Seen will do… Hello?

 

_ Hoshi _

Everything seems right. People keep walking in enthusiastic and out sad and down, right the way it’s supposed to be. Truthfully, we don’t really want new people unless they are truly impressive, because we don’t have official club activities such as competitions and prizes. We keep training for something, but we never manage to pass the qualification stage for some reason. Some say there are too few of us, some say there are too many, some simply say we don’t fit well together.

 

Just the thought of this gives my conscience reasons to keep babbling insults. Why did I talk my friends into auditioning? Wonwoo doesn’t want to be here, just like he didn’t want last year, and the year before. I should have realised that if he passes, he’ll have to work with Mingyu AND Jeonghan, not the best situation by far.

 

He sat down next to Woozi in the corner and they just observe the scenery. Jun is kept busy by Minghao, the transfer kid from the first year. Lucky guy, he finally found someone he can talk to in Chinese, we’re not the best at that. I would go to Wonwoo and Woozi, sit down next to them and tell jokes or play around, just to make them smile. But this time, they were both down because of me…

 

Suddenly, the doors open violently to a poorly dressed, bare-faced Seungkwan and his trajectory wanders around a bit before ending where Wonwoo and Woozi were sitting, pushing them out of the way as he smashes his butt right between them. Like today wasn’t bad enough already…

  
  


_ Jun _

Another annoying fluffball appears in sight. Suddenly, I’m glad Minghao is here to keep me busy. Yes, he’s an over-excited puppy, but at least he’s relatively quiet, unlike the other little monster. I feel like grabbing him by the ear and ushering him out when I see him almost sit on top of Wonwoo, like he didn’t even notice Wonwoo was there. And this is all Vernon’s fault, I’m sure of it. There’s no one else in the world with this level of unconsciousness to call Seungkwan over to this kind of party.

 

“Is everything ok?” Minghao asks. I was probably really obvious if even this dumm-head caught me. When I turn back to him, he’s watching me with the widest puppy-eyes I’ve seen in my life, he almost looks like a cartoon character. I feel a smile creeping on my lips, so I quickly look away, but he moves with my gaze, to look me in the eyes. I look away again, with the same result. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing.” I mumble under my breath, not wanting to tell anything more. But the worried puppy look on his face stays the same, now looking down like it was all his fault. Which it is, but he couldn’t know that.

 

It’s now that they call five numbers, our numbers. It goes from Minghao, to Wonwoo, to Woozi, and one more guy I haven’t noticed before. The fact that he came in much later than us and probably everyone else in the room makes me sense something was off. And yet again, like always so far, it smells bad. It smells like spoilt milk, like one hundred significantly sweaty men, like someone who hasn’t showered in three weeks. It smells like stupid thoughtless decisions, like misplaced trust and utter disappointment. It smells like Hoshi.

  
  


_ Woozi _

The scene in the morning made me feel like I wasn’t nervous. Then, I was feeling bad enough for Wonwoo not to realise how nervous I was. Then, Seungkwan came along with his greater-than-life personality, so loud and flamboyant I couldn’t hear my thoughts. But when I hear my number being called, it feels like the whole world collapses around me. Suddenly, all the air leaves the room and the walls start getting closer and closer, the floor starts moving under my feet and I don’t feel like I can stand up. I just want to get up and run away, but somehow I end up behind a black line taped on the floor, right between Wonwoo and Jun.

 

Wonwoo is also looking at the tape on the floor, poking at it with the tip of his shoe. He’s dragging his shirt and jacket like he wanted them to stretch enough to cover him whole. Behind us, Seungkwan keeps trying to encourage us. He’s probably been at it for a while now, which is almost sad, because we all ignored him. On my left, Jun’s face looks just as neutral as ever. It takes me a second to realise it, but he’s actually having a threatening staring contest with Jeonghan. The fight is fierce, just like any other competition that involves Jeonghan, but eventually Vernon’s attempts to distract Jeonghan succeed and the audition begins.

 

The first in line is a guy neither of us has seen before. Seungkwan whispers behind us that he’s a first year student at the Music department.

 

“He’s Seokmin, or DK, however you want. He’s really funny, you’ll love him. He’s like me, but not that good.” Seungkwan told us with a cheeky smile. I can feel the effort he makes not to back-hug one of us right now, and someday I will tell him all his efforts have been appreciated.

 

When Seokmin opens his mouth, singing without a melody, a powerful ballad most people here couldn’t even humm, I get what Seungkwan means by “like me”. Our golden sassy princess suddenly has competition. Seokmin blew them all of their chair, even Jeonghan, which means something. We’re up to a good start.

 

They don’t waste much time congratulating him, before inviting Minghao to step up and start his attempt. He starts right away and God, does Mingyu have taste in men.

  
  


_ Jun _

Fuck, couldn’t he just fuck it up for once? No, he always has to be the most perfect person on Earth. Well, let me tell you something, little perfect puppy. I’m a dancer, too. And I don’t appreciate competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long unannounced break, Uni is literally killing me by not leaving me enough time to breath. I will try to go back to updating frequently. No promises though, I can't handle broken trust well...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it at least a teeny-tiny bit. There's more to come, which I hope you will enjoy those too.


End file.
